It is a common misconception that people who don’t like other people are anti-social. In fact we are very social, with an approved list of about 7 people we actually like. No offence to the rest of society, but life is short and we’d rather not spend it with people we can’t tolerate.
Every day is filled with forced interactions and conversations we’d rather not be a part of. People who get us understand that sometimes we are a witty delight and sometimes we’d rather just put our headphones in and avoid any actual human interaction.
That being said, there are certain things, only other people who hate other people, will truly understand:
1. Resting bitch face is your thing
The more unapproachable you look, the less chance there is of anyone approaching you.
2. There are like 3 people you can actually tolerate for long periods of time
Your favourite friend is the one you can watch 9 consecutive episodes of Dexter with, without exchanging a single word. The foundation of your friendship is built on a mutual dislike of other people.
Everyone else can only be tolerated on a bi-monthly basis for no longer than two consecutive hours at a time.
. One of your talents is pretending to be interested in plans you actually have no intention of attending
Your absolute favourite thing is when people cancel plans. You pretend to be disappointed. Sometimes you even throw in a “don’t worry we’ll reschedule soon” for effect.
4. Friendly strangers are the devil
Small talk is your worst nightmare. Small talk with strangers is even worse; after all, why waste your energy on someone you’re never going to see again.
Chatty hairdressers, beauticians and nail technicians make the top of your irritation list, after all, why should a hair cut come with an obligatory 25 minute conversation about how terrible the weather is.