A husband and wife were sitting at a table at the wife’s school party when a very drunk man fell forward in front of them.
The wife asked, “Do you recognize that lady?”
The husband answered, “Yeah, that’s my old girlfriend. She began drinking a lot when we split, and she hasn’t stopped since.”
“Wow,” the wife said, “I didn’t know people could party that much!”
Here are some more funny jokes for you
The luggage bees
Why did the bee sign up for a language class?
Because it wanted to understand the special words and have better talks with its hive!
Alright, Schrödinger, Heisenberg, and Einstein go to a barbecue. Schrödinger brings a cat in a box, Heisenberg forgets something about sausages, and Einstein keeps talking about relativity, kind of spoiling the fun.
Zen Garden Gnomes.
Why did the Zen garden gnomes begin a meditation club?
Because they wished to discover their inner gnome and reach gnome-enlightenment in the most gnome-like way!
Pirates Cryptic Map
A pirate discovered a treasure map with a puzzle: “Dig for wealth where the moon and sun come together among the palm trees.” So, he dug all day, got a sore hand, and realized it was just a lesson about palm reading.
Why did the baker who can travel through time go back to the 18th century?
To make some historical bread and cook up some special buns!
Why was the ghost who liked gardening so good at it?
Because it had excellent tips for growing in the graveyard and knew how to take care of the plants in a ghostly way!
Alien’s Phone Upgrade
Why did the alien get a better phone?
Because it wanted to discover Wi-Fi all over the universe and stay connected to different galaxies!
Chicken’s stand-up comedy
Why did the chicken start doing comedy on a stage?
Because it was really good at making funny jokes and always had a great punchline!
Martian Shopping Trip
Why did the Martian visit Earth to shop?
Because they heard our malls had the latest fashion trends from other planets, and they were really unique!
Why do squirrels think about the meaning of life?
Because they love thinking deeply and having acorn-troversial (controversial) discussions!