One Reddit user is asking if they are the a****** for not being excited over their sister’s pregnancy and refusing to go to their baby shower.
“Ok, so it’s not that I (f26) hate kids, I really don’t, but you’d think that if you spoke to my family,” the OP (Original Poster) begins.
“My parents and rest of my family are going insane over my sister ‘Sophia’s’ pregnancy. It’s dominating every discussion and every family get together. Won’t lie, this has been getting to me, like I’m not saying it’s not a blessing but oh my God, I’m bored of talking about baby showers, baby names, clothes, etc, so I just kind of turn off when it comes up now.”
The OP revealed that her Luke actually had a history.
“I’m trying to be polite, but it’s especially upsetting because the father of my future nephew/niece is the guy I was (and might still be, idk anymore) really in love with. ‘Luke’ was actually someone I dated first, back in my final year of university. Luke is also from my home city, too, but we hadn’t met prior. We dated a good few months before he decided that we worked better as friends. This hurt, but I pushed through it, and we got a good friendship out of it. So, when we graduated, we both went back home, and he spent pretty much the entire summer at ours because he has a difficult relationship with his father. That’s when Luke and Sophia got together.”
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“Yet, despite all this history between Luke and I, no one in my family seems to think this whole experience might be a little strange for me. I won’t lie, when I saw him kissing my sister, drunk, at a party I kinda thought, ‘You d***, but it’s okay. It won’t last.’”
The OP went on to reveal that it did last and her involvement felt awkward.
“Safe to say, it’s lasted. But whatever, you know, you have to get over stuff like this, and I am, but I’m not a fountain of enthusiasm over it, either. The drama comes when my mum asked me if I could plan the baby shower, and I told her… no, basically, because I personally disagree with them trying to hold one during a Pandemic anyway, that I have a life outside of this whole thing and I’m busy. I didn’t say it, but it also feels weird for me to be so involved with my feelings being the mess that they are.”
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“I just told her she could do it if she wanted, it’s her grandchild, and that makes more sense than me doing it. But my mum got upset with me and ‘my tone’ and accused me of being unsupportive of my sister’s happiness this whole time, and even selfish for not wanting to be a part of it more. And I wasn’t going to take that, because I’ve tried really hard to be mature over this. I told her she was being suffocated with it, and not everyone has [done] everything she wants all the time, and basically told her off for making a drama out of nothing. But now she’s upset with me, and I’m starting to feel bad.”
One user said: “NTA. There’s no rule saying just bc you’re her sister that you have to plan her baby shower. I think you handled this maturely.”
While another commented: “I would argue that the fact that her sister and ex got together has a lot to do with this, particularly regarding how OP’s mother is treating her. While I agree that OP is NTA either way, the fact that her mother is being so insensitive ramps up the level of a****** that she is in my mind. I think it’s disgraceful that the entire family act like OP’s original relationship never happened, how cruel.”
With a background in the creative and educational fields, Amelia Finefrock is freelance writer, singer-songwriter and nanny based in Chicago.
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