Should I feel bad about ruining my child’s wedding?

My child used to be a good husband and dad, but now he’s not loyal to his wife and doesn’t spend time with his kids. Mike ruined his relationship with Tommy’s mom, Jane, after our grandson was born with Down syndrome. Since then, he left, and I just found out he’s getting married again.

I know that as moms, we should encourage and support our children. I totally agree. And that’s why I think what I did was right.

Here’s the backstory: My son, Mike, got married when he was very young because his then-girlfriend, Jane, got pregnant. It was rushed, but I loved Jane from the moment I first met her. She was the typical girl next door, and I thought it was good for Mike.

A few months later, sweet little Tommy—my most special grandchild—was born! He was born with Down syndrome and had the most beautiful blue eyes ever. But Tommy’s birth with Down Syndrome changed things for Jane and Mike. Mike started cheating on her, and despite their child and shared history, he ended up getting a divorce.

Mike left Tommy with only Jane to take care of him. Of course, I was still close and would do everything I could to help them both. But it wasn’t the same. A child needs to have both parents if they are alive and well.

But Mike didn’t make any effort to visit his child or help out in any way. I couldn’t believe my son could be so heartless.

I begged him to come back or at least support Jane. However, he shut the door in front of me every single time.

And then, things started to get strange.

Last month, my nephew, Liam, came to ask for a cake for his mom—I’m the family cook. And he told me that Mike was getting married again.

I was surprised.

Honestly, I hardly knew anything about Mike these days. From his new job to who he was dating, I knew nothing. All I knew now was that Mike had found an unlucky girl to marry him. And I wasn’t invited. I asked Liam for the address, and he gave it to me without hesitation.

All I could think about was Jane and Tommy. When did Mike become such a different man?

Fast forward to the wedding.

I heard Mike’s voice as I walked up the aisle while he made his promises. I walked in, holding Tommy on my hip, his sticky hands in my hair. The surprise on his face will be priceless to me forever.

“Before you say, ‘I do’ again, Michael St. John, meet your first ‘I did’ and the family you abandoned,” I said.

I addressed his new wife. She was a sweet young girl, and I felt bad that the troubled look on her face was because of me.

Then, the officiant called for a break, telling the guests to go outside and grab a drink before the ceremony resumed. I was okay with that. As much as I wanted to embarrass Mike, I didn’t want to hurt his bride more than necessary. But only a few people left. Most of Mike’s family found what I said entertaining, while his bride’s family could hardly contain their shock.

I told her everything—from how he got married young to having Tommy, cheating on Jane, and finally divorcing her with very little financial support for his child. I warned her about what she was getting into.

“He might be my blood,” I told her, with Mike pacing behind her, “but I didn’t raise him to be this way. Jane is more like a daughter to me now than Mike is a son.”

I held Tommy closer to me, my little grandson who brought so much love into my life, while he sucked his thumb.

“Your child deserves a dad who doesn’t abandon him. You’re awful, Mike. Such a different person from that wonderful kid I raised and loved more than anything.”

I walked away, leaving a room full of shocked guests, a child in disbelief, and his fiancée rethinking the man she fell in love with.

The next day, Liam and his mom (my sister) came over for coffee.

Liam mentioned that Mike’s fiancée started crying when the church doors closed behind Tommy and me. He said she threw her wedding bouquet at Mike, took off her shoes, and walked out of the ceremony, with her family following her.

Mike felt embarrassed, angry, and shocked in front of the guests, who were glued to their seats, probably expecting Jane to come back.

I know ruining his wedding might seem a bit much, I’ll admit. But the point in all of this was to give Mike a big lesson.

It’s not the end for him—he can still make things right for Tommy. I’m open to Mike coming back to our family as a son and father. Or, if that’s too much for him, I’d settle for him taking responsibility for Tommy in some way.

But, you tell me: Is it okay for me to ruin my child’s wedding? If so, thank you for understanding.

If not, what would you do in my place? While you’re thinking about that, here’s one more story for you: As Jane is getting ready to marry Anthony, she receives anonymous messages warning her not to do so. When she follows a fruitless search to a nearby hotel, she discovers the reason behind the warnings.

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